Good morning wordicorns and scribblers,
I used to be the person who answered emails from the moment I woke up to the moment the hubs reminded me I was trying to sleep. There was no day off-limits.
I was super productive, and I was super accessible. I was also super exhausted and didn’t like a lot of people.
To be honest, if I fall back into my habits (something very easy when you’re a people-pleaser with OCD), I go right back to that.
Without meaning to, people steal your time.
I point out that it’s not on purpose first, because there is rarely ill intent when people email you at 10 PM on a Friday or 2 PM on a Saturday about some work thing that will take hours of your time and energy.
To them, that’s exactly when that the problem should be fixed—immediately. We’ve all done it. And hey, sometimes, it should be done then. If you’re getting paid, maybe the conversation is different. If you’re a doctor and your patient needs you or you’re a lawyer and your client needs you, the conversation is also different. Those are jobs you maybe have to be on-call for.
More often than not, however, the urgency comes from a societal need to get something done or be in constant contact. We all have our phones all the time… so just pop on. It’ll only take a second. Right?
When I decided to allow my weekends to be weekends. When I decided to revert back to being a kid again—when weekends were meant for watching TV and staying in pajamas, or going outside and playing, seeing friends and dancing around to music, going shopping or eating out—I got healthier. My hair started to fall out less. I started to enjoy the time with the people I spent time with more.
Most importantly, I was able to start living more mindfully.
I know—so many are anti the word mindful, but it can be beautiful if you utilize it to get to know yourself and be more aware of your surroundings. Anyhow, since I’ve started working on being more aware, relaxing and stepping away, I’ve noticed getting those emails just irritates me now, and I enjoy ignoring them.
There is rarely a time when it’s important enough that two days makes a difference. If the email title doesn't say urgent or SOS or help or emergency or do this right now, I leave it unread until Monday—or sometimes Tuesday or Wednesday or Thursday (gasp).
Being on Disability is a declaration. I am unable to have a gainful employment. I cannot hold a traditional job that can earn me a living wage. I may be able to make a little money here and there from my creative projects, but it’s not enough.
In my case, I’m Disabled because my body is unpredictable. I’m in chronic pain and go unconscious at random times. I dislocate or sublux without warning, am unable to speak on occasion, and need long naps on days my body feels it’s had enough (whether I’ve slept 8 or 12 or 24 hours before). I can be creative when I can be. I can sit up when I can. I can help when I can. I can do things for others when I can.
But when I can’t, I just can’t.
To try to keep up with everyone else is not only impossible but extremely detrimental to my health.
Honestly, though, it’s detrimental to yours too. Able-bodied or disabled. Chronically ill or haven’t had any sickness of any kind a day in your life (if you exist, I’m so jealous please don’t talk to me; I am but a human and cannot take that amount of #blessed in my presence).
No one should be on all the time—whether it’s online and answering emails or in-person and chatting with people. We need to relax, to get away, to just be away from the day-to-day.
We are all nicer people when we do.
Writing this newsletter wasn’t leading up to some grand point or big new idea on how to get things done without working. It’s really just a reminder that it’s okay to have free time, not stay on the grind. Our mindset is if we aren’t grinding, we aren’t getting paid. Our jobs are on the line, our hobbies won’t turn into side hustles, our clients will drop us, or whatever.
But in reality, you’ll be more productive.
And for real, just so much nicer.
So I guess, just take a fucking break, fuck around, and tell others to fuck off for a hot second. Listen to a book about not giving a fuck (
) .But with a smile, because you’re super relaxed.