Do one small thing
Moving slowly toward your dreams
I really need to redo my website. It’s been a while since I’ve spruced it up and honestly, it could use a total overall. But “update my website” is one of those goals that feels overwhelming to me right now. I have a vague idea of what I want it to look like and how I want people to interact with it when they go and search for me on the internet, but not a clear enough concept to describe it to the person who usually updates my website.
I want to do more strength training. I want to lift more and heavier weights. But lifting weights is one of those goals that intimidates me. I do a lot of cardio and endurance training and I love a gentle stretch. I’ve never been a person who lifts weights on a regular basis and there’s probably some kind of internalized sexism that I’m working through here too.
I want to publish another book in the next year. But there’s so much to do and too many ideas and projects in various stages of development, and if I am honest with you (and with myself), I’m terrified of publishing another book. I think I need to sit with this fear for a moment and figure out what’s going on with that. I’ve published books before. Why do I still freeze at the thought of making a choice and seeing it through to the end?
Goals have been on my mind a lot these days as I try to figure out how to make the most of the limited time I have to work on my own passions and creative projects while also juggling my full-time job, relationship, and health responsibilities.
When I didn’t have an office job, when I wasn’t working for someone else, I was overwhelmed with time. Now, I have an hour, maybe two, if I’m lucky. If it’s the weekend, I might have 6 or 7 hours just for me and my projects, but even that sounds generous. So, I do a lot of thinking about what’s important, what’s necessary, and what can wait until later.
Perhaps I should do less thinking and more doing.
But some thinking is required to keep myself from spinning off and working on things that do not move me in the direction of my main goals.
Anyway, despite the fact that some days I feel like I’m getting nothing done, the small steps do add up to big things, but I’m still just one human and I can’t do everything.
So, I try to prioritize.
My website is functional except for one thing. Several months ago, I switched newsletter platforms and the old one I was using updated their user interface and kicked me off and so the sign-up link I used to collect reader’s emails turned into a black hole. If someone put their email into that link because they were interested in finding out more about me and my books and my travels into the woods, I would never know about it. Their email would vanish into a black hole.
And life goes on, I suppose, but they want to hear from me, and I want to connect with them, and so it’s something that needs to be fixed. I was putting off making any changes because I wanted to redo my entire website and I didn’t have what I needed—the time, the knowledge, the inspiration—to make those changes yet. But the most important reason I have a website—to connect readers to my newsletter—had stopped working. And so I couldn’t do nothing.
It’s a mindset shift. To narrow your bigger goals down to just one small thing, one small action you can take in the short time you have each day.
My website still needs an overhaul. At some point, I want to reopen the bookshop and I want to revamp how the website directs traffic, and maybe one day I’ll learn SEO and we’ll do the damn thing. But for now, it’s enough to leap over the smallest hurdle. The newsletter link is updated now so if a reader visits my website and wants more from me, they will get more from me. I fixed the key component keeping me from connecting with people who want to buy my books. And it took less than an hour.
My friend who lift weights often tells me that I don’t have to spend 2 hours at the gym blowing out my biceps. He tells me that the next time I’m at the gym walking on a treadmill, before I leave, pick up some dumbbells and do 3 reps of 5. Then the next time do 3 reps of 7. And so on. He tells me it’s about building the habit first and then pushing yourself to do more.
It’s about showing up regularly for yourself and your goals and doing one small thing, whatever feels achievable inside your limitations.
Big goals are fun. I love big goals. They can be challenging and ever-so satisfying to accomplish. But they can also be overwhelming and if I’m only focused on the end, the big picture, the birds-eye, it can be hard to get started. I look at the big goal and think there’s no way I have the time or energy to tackle that big of a challenge, so why even try? The truth is I don’t have enough time or energy. Not for everything all at once.
But I do have time for one small thing.
I have time for 300 words a day or 30 minutes of focused writing time or a long walk where I leave my phone at home and let my mind wander for a while and try to figure out what it is I’m afraid of, what’s keeping me from committing to my next big publishing adventure. I have time for 3 reps at the gym. I have time to update one thing on my website. I have time to read 10 pages.
The older I get, the harder it is for me to feel like I have time, but I keep returning to the meditative practice of one small thing. One small action after another, even if it doesn’t feel like enough, can add up in big ways.
I'm going to be jotting down what I want my website to look like. I bought the new domain, I know what I want, but it's just a little of this and that with some blog here and a shop here. So. Not clear. I'm going to design it on paper this week. Next week, I'll go further. But I can't figure out what program to use or if I should switch my hosting to a new place unless I know what I need, and that I can't fully figure out without sketching it out.