Creative self-care
10 things to do when you feel anxious about writing
Hi. My name is Valerie. I have anxiety.
My overactive brain likes to make up stories. Which on one hand is great for writing fiction, and on the other hand can turn my real life into an absolute shit show.
At any given moment I’m thinking about all the ways I might die and how to avoid it. Or I’m trying to pick fights with myself and the people around me because surely everyone in this room is conspiring to make me look like a fool.
I have longed believed that I gravitate toward writing mystery novels because it is a safe place I can play out the dark scenarios I’m most afraid of; mystery novels are also tricky to write, so they give my darling brain something to pick at so it doesn’t pick at me and my real life choices.
But some days.
If you’ve ever struggled with anxiety, you know what I’m talking about when I say Some. Days.
It’s really hard to write when anxiety is trying to drag me back under the covers. But the thing about my specific kind of anxiety (and perhaps yours too) is that writing helps me stay healthy. Writing helps quiet my voices. Writing helps keep me grounded in reality. Because if I play out all my worst fears and emotions in the safe space of the blank page, then when I return to the real world, I feel way less out of control.
Or, at least, I feel way more equipped to sit with the out of control feelings for a little while until I can work out some more emotions on the page.
So if writing makes me feel good, but anxiety wants to keep from writing, what’s an anxious writer to do?
Here are 10 things that have helped me before. Hopefully they’ll help you too.
10 Things to Do When You Feel Anxious About Writing:
Hide your phone and turn off your internet. At the very least turn off social media. Highlight reels are not people's real journeys and comparing yourself to other writers is only going to make you feel icky.
Give yourself permission to be bad. You don’t have to show what you’re writing to anyone. No one is going to come barreling into the room demanding to read your last paragraph. This time is for you. Create, play, get messy, let the words come out however they need to. You might be surprised at what you come up with.
Set up a ritual. Whether it’s writing at the same time, in the same location, with the same soundtrack in your ears, wearing the same pair of cozy slippers, lighting a candle that has special meaning to you, or simply brewing a cup of tea before you sit down, routines have a way of centering you and letting your brain know that you’re safe and now it’s time to get to work.
Set a timer. It doesn’t have to be for very long. 5 minutes is long enough. Sit still with your blank page or your bad words for 5 minutes. Without judgment or expectation. Sit and tell yourself that you are exactly where you need to be.
Write in a new location. Sometimes you just need a new window to look out of, or different shadows to chase. Sometimes you need silence or sounds or something in between. If the place you’ve been writing in isn’t working anymore, try somewhere new.
Work on something new. Especially if you’re feeling stuck or what’s the point or I’ll never be able to make this book or poem or story as good as it is in my head—that’s generally a good sign that it’s time to tap into your deep creative well and try to write something new. Even for one day. You can always come back to the thing you were working on before, and most likely, you will have grown and be ready to dive in again.
Move your body. Walk, swim, bike, do 10 jumping jacks, dance, stretch. Get out of your chair and move. Ground yourself in your body. Remember that you exist outside your imaginary spaces. You exist. How beautiful and curious, this life.
Go outside. Find fresh air if you can. Sunlight is better. Take a friend. Breathe.
Support a local artist. It doesn’t have to be a writer but it can be. Go to a gallery opening. Go to a book reading. Go to a poetry slam. Go somewhere where other creative people are getting excited about creativity and soak up their excitement like a sponge. Ask questions about their process, if you feel brave enough, or just enjoy the art they made. Let it inspire you tomorrow.
Have a dialogue with yourself. Write out your fears. Lean into your anxiety for a minute, but only a minute. Write down everything that could possibly go wrong. Then write out all the ways it could go right. Remember: courage isn’t the absence of fear It’s feeling afraid and moving forward anyway. You are at your bravest when you choose your creative self over your fear self.
Bonus tip: Sometimes you can do all the self-care and whisper all the mantras and breathe through all the anxiety and tell yourself you’re fine, but you still don’t feel fine. You still can’t get out of your own way. You still Just. Can’t. So here is where I recommend that you do the most courageous act of self-care and find a good therapist.
It’s okay to not be okay. And it’s okay to ask for help. It can be hard, asking for help, digging into painful emotions, changing the very core of yourself. But, hey, you are a writer. You know all the very best stories aren’t about people staying the same; all the very best stories are about people growing.
What a lovely list! <3